I wish words came easily to me. And I wish I knew how to organize my thoughts. I would probably blog more regularly if I had the discipline to organize my many threads of thought. I usually have an assortment of ideas running through my head for blog posts throughout the day. However, I rarely ever make note of them. *sigh* At times, I truly love to write and it has been a secret ambition of mine for the past several years to write Christian non-fiction - writings along similiar lines of Amy Carmichael and Lilias Trotter. For the present, I'm still improving myself in journaling, which, I consider, to be the most important area of writing for a disciple. Documenting life's struggles, blessings, and the Lord's faithful providence, wisdom and teaching, and grace is, I think, a large part of sharing your 'testimony' to others. It's an accumulation of all the wisdom you receive from the hand of God over the years and those souls that He appoints in your life to be an outpouring of His grace and instruction in the Way. I pray that the Lord really grounds me in solid discipline at Ellerslie, that it will be something I remain faithful to, by His grace, even when I return home.
Preparation for Ellerslie has been going well. After many tiring days of shopping, I think I have all the necessities. I ordered the books that were recommended for Ellerslie students. I received Reese Howells, Intercessor (Norman Grubb) today, but I'm anxiously awaiting the others:
- The Scottish Chiefs - Jane Porter
- any biography of C.T. Studd by Norman Grubb
- Gold Cord - Amy Carmichael
- Biography of Amy Carmichael - Elisabeth Elliot
- E. M. Bounds - Power Through Prayer (or the Complete Works of E. M. Bounds)
To my suprise, I have had the opportunity to make some extra cash before I leave to Ellerslie. The Lord granted me an occasion to babysit and then assist my audio-instructors (from my college) in a mobile recording gig (something I never thought I'd be asked again to do outside of my internship this past semester). Two very unexpected opportunities to make extra $$ = totally God faithfully providing! In the words of a Newsboys' song - "How do I show gratitude to one as glorious as You - I don't know, I'll just praise You!"
My favorite songs to praise the Lord with are, usually, by a Messianic-family group called
Zemer Levav (Songs of the Heart). I highly encourage everyone I meet to listen to their music. You can listen to their music on their website and read all their latest updates. Who doesn't love Israeli-styled worship music?
Have I mentioned how much I long to do what they do? Traveling minstrel-missionaries, leading people into the presence of God. My heart for missionaries and ethnic-worship longs for such a life - to reach the afflicted and the hungry souls and share with them the Gospel and bring them into deep intimacy with the Lord through music.
In the midst of all this preparation, family/friend gatherings, college graduation, and getting my driver's license (woohoo!! Finally!), I have one regret. I haven't picked up my guitar(s) in quite awhile. I haven't really played anything, nor I have I truly written anything for months. I long to be faithful to the musical gifts that the Lord has so graciously given me. Although I hope to do some playing while at Ellerslie, I pray that I might be able to seriously take up my guitar (and my mandolin and ukulele!) and songwriting again in the fall. Although I have had to make other things a priority over music, I know that I cannot let these skills fall to the wayside. Thus another area in which I need discipline! I haven't any idea where the Lord might call me to use music for His glory and His kingdom, but I know that He desires me to cultivate and nurture what He has given me in my music education these past 9 years.
No one else will ever let me live
This life I live in You
And no one else will ever take the place
That I have made for You
And no one else could ever fit the mold
That You have cast for me
You are my God I will bow down before You
You are my God I will lift up Your Name
~ Kerah Hanes, Zemer Levav
I'll blog some more before I leave...
